Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Dreams. Determination. Motivation. Here's to a Better Year








Hey...there...

First post of 2017. I have got to say I really have not felt much like blogging these days. 

That's a lie. I have brilliant blog posts, I think of them while I am driving, get home and well...that inspiration just kind of leaves me.

This got me thinking...I kind of thought I am just going to have to sit and blog, even if it is at first, a little different, but it needs to become my habit again.
I lost myself in 2016...hello from the other side.

I must say I am more then happy to bid adieu to 2016. Hello 2017.

2016 goes down as the worst year of my life.
I felt 2016 in every ounce of my being.
It is the year I quit Reiki.
The year I believe that I know now how death feels when it's knocking.
I died a little each day, then a little more in the nights.
I found out what being alone is....again.
Fear came knocking.
Love kind of left...for a long while.
I got knocked down and then kicked while I was down.

That's pretty dramatic isn't it...

Hey. I met my darkside again.
We had cookies.
Discussed things.
It was a bit too dark though, so I had to leave.

I think the only way to put it into words is here, in words.
And in song, because I feel and process things deeply within the words and the music.
So, which song can sum up 2016 for me?
How about this one, you can click that link and take a listen.

You laughed right?
I hope you did...

Finally I had a breakthrough and I got mad.
I was done feeling sorry for myself and I got mad, because if you flip that inner bitch switch, she gets things done and sorts the shit out. That's what's happening now.

I got back on track and reminded myself, after about 150 days of thinking I was going to die, that if I am in fact still alive then I guess it's time to live. I reminded myself how far I have come in 10 years. Reminded myself of a few of the key people in that 10 years that helped form me and I found me again. I was an amazing little ball of fury and strength and that's why the people who came along during that time in my life came. Those people are forever etched in my soul, there is no forgetting them.
And to be honest, I needed to talk to a few of them.

They are the people who knew me before The Black Star Boutique.
Before the Reiki.
Before I couldn't see past my small town.

That was the only small piece of insight I needed to regain my strength and have a little faith in myself. I mean hell, I had a bad year personally, but hey, The Black Star Boutique had a fabulous year. We made appearances on The Vampire Diaries, Day 5, and well, we have some things coming that are huge for 2017.

So I know it well. Hell and back.

But I have a dream and I will not stop until I achieve it.

This is my motivation, daily. Take a listen and hear it out.

Have a dream. Then go get the damn thing.

Here's to the next year...
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