Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Why Holding Onto Your Ex Is Bad For You

Happy Tuesday Lovelies!
10 sleeps left till our company from England arrives and vacation days start!
We are so excited!

Today's post isn't about that though, it's about letting go of our ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or ex-boyfriend. Letting go is a hard thing to do for most of us.

I've experienced this myself, I watched my daughter experience it with a first love from last summer, I've watched friends go through it and since Jason and I got engaged we have had a plethora of ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends try to invade our happy space. Exes are literally coming out of the four corners now to make their best attempts as to why Jason and I should not be together.

It gave me pause for reflection. Why do these women {and men} feel the need to hang on to me or Jason? Why are they unable to move on with their lives?

 I remember the days when I also did this, hoping for a second chance. And I would live to realize that I might have met someone for a reason, but it didn't work out for a reason to!

First things first, you gotta level with yourself.

If a relationship ended, it did so because it wasn't meant to be.
It doesn't matter what plans you may have had with your significant other or what you thought was going to be the greatest thing in your life, if the relationship ended, it ended for a reason and you absolutely need to accept that and move on.

You need to do this for yourself and for your children if you have any.
Holding onto someone and hoping they come back to you only denies you from finding your own true love and happiness.

What has ended, has ended.
Move on.

As a Reiki Master, I have seen first hand how this "holding on" can completely ruin another person's life. Things such as over consumption of alcohol, overeating, weight gain, and depression can all be effects of holding onto someone who has left your life.

In extreme cases, holding onto someone can result in getting charged with harassment or even worse. I myself had to consult the police this past week due to Jason's ex girlfriend and now ex wife intruding in our lives to the point that it is considered slander and harassment. When the police asked if I wanted to lay charges, as they were now messing with my business, I said no. I said that if it happens again, I will most definitely charge them, but I was hoping that they said what they thought they needed too and were now ready to move forward with their own lives.

Don't let this happen to you!

What no one in our "ex circle", as Jason and I refer to it as, understands is that we have made a commitment to one another and have truly fallen in love. Anyone who is truly in love will understand this. I have gotten to know Jason's family, despite the fact that they are on another continent and they are reassurance that we just have some very jealous ex people in our pasts that are hell bent on seeing us unhappy. When our exes intervene it just brings us closer together, reminding us how unhappy we were before we met.

Jason and I spent 6 months together day in and day out, getting to know one another and sharing our lives. That time made us best friends. We share access to each others email, facebook, Tango, financial, phones, ect. We hide nothing from one another. We got very tired of exes contacting us with trivial matters in last ditch efforts to win us over.  After years of being hurt or let down by those we thought we loved, we are both finally happy and content...and excited for the future!!

That's what I hope for everyone.
Everyone deserves the happiness that Jason and I now feel everyday.

We see each other every evening and nothing is better than laughing and cuddling before we drift off to sleep. 

To help you get over your ex, here are some really good articles to help you understand why it isn't to your advantage to hold on:

Go be awesome and let go of what holds you back from your happiness.

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