Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Paradigm Shift

Happy June Friends!
This month is going to be an exciting month for me as we have family coming very soon from England to spend 2 glorious weeks here in Canada! I can hardly wait.

You've been waiting for this as much as I have, the inspirational blog post from me. 
That post where I label it what it is and put everyone in their place...lol, yes my truthful little blog post is finally ready.

This year has been wonderful and happy and exciting for me. I am finally in the happiest place and in love for the first time in my life with the person who is my very best friend and soul mate. He was all the way in England, I had to wait a long time for him to come, but it was well worth the wait.

My wonderful year has also been crowded with a bunch of negative little beasties that I can now label as problems to forget.

Any of you who have followed the blog posts over the years know perfectly well that I was raised in a family that basically hates each other and never forgives. 
This is the basis of my post today.


Earlier this year my step dad passed away from his MS. Then my own father passed away because he's been an alcoholic his entire life and his body finally failed him. I attended my step dad's funeral and not my own father's funeral. And this, after years of fighting with my step dad, so how did that happen?

It's because I have forgiven people in my life. I forgave my step dad and in the two years that I lived closer to my Mom and him we fixed what had been broken and moved on. It seriously no longer bothered me. As for my Dad's funeral, he was gone, I saw no need to be there as he wasn't there. Honouring him in my own way seemed more appropriate.

In April my cousin, who I have been close with for years, had a baby girl. Her family I have always been close and thought I could trust them. When they threw the baby shower, they didn't invite me or my daughter. Instead they invited my sisters who they know I don't even speak with and who they really don't know very well. 

The irony of this is that my daughter babysat for my cousin endlessly with her first child and we all loved him so much. When they threw the shower, my daughter was in Fort Saskatchewan at the time and was not informed at all. 

The end result...my daughter found out the hard way just how twisted my family really is. And for me, this is the last straw in a string of bull shit issues that I can no longer deal with. I tried to handle the situation tactfully by first asking my aunt why. 
She ignored me several times. 

Finally, I had had enough. I told her where to off and labeled her with what she is. Her issues stem from something she did to my uncle years ago that was kept secret by my own Mom and she really doesn't like me anymore because I am friends with my Mom.

Sounds a little like "Days of Our Lives", doesn't it?

It is.

I have two sisters who are horrible little trouble makers and even my own children found this out. One of my sisters has slept with over 95 men and she has only just reached 30. The other has the same issues going on and is suffering tremendously from all her years of partying and sleeping with anyone and everyone she could. I never really judged them on this, I just realize that they have some really messed up issues that they need to deal with. They have tried to label me with the same issues, but my reputation speaks for itself thank you very much. 

As for my brother, well he gets second hand information and isn't very argumentative so he just goes along with all of it. And at the end of the day, because my Mom and I are friends, I get left out of everything. But that's ok, my Mom is honest too.

That's the long story and for a few difficult months I had to rethink on all of these incidents and really try to figure it out. I felt abandoned once again by family.

That is until last night when it hit me. 

Years ago, my best friends told me I should really stop being so honest. 
"People don't like to be honest and they certainly don't like to look deeply into things and discuss it and dissect it"

It's true isn't it? Then people spend a good portion of their lives fighting with others, causing dramas, being mean to strangers and then they get sick and their bodies start to break down and they wonder why.

Going to Yoga and becoming a Reiki Master has saved me the hassles that my family members have.

They all fight with each other all the time. They bully people and none of them really have any respect gained from people, people are just scared to get on their bad side because they turn into horrible little beasties who try to eat you! 
Lol...it's a metaphor, but you get the idea.

It all struck me clearly last night. All of them were meant to be eliminated from my life so that I can fulfill a destiny and a dream. I was meant for greater things and as I look upon my life, I really have accomplished some amazing things and become a tremendously powerful woman who stands in my own right. Yet I am loving and kind and take good care of my family. I do not pollute my body or my mind. I am not afraid to walk away from bullshit. And I will not stand by idly and watch someone in need and not do something. 

There is no one in my family like me. Not one of them know or care about gemstones and how they can heal the body and the mind. Not one of them knows or cares about Reiki. Not one of them understands or cares about handmade jewelry or my business or my life. 

As for Yoga, because it is the cool thing to do they won't bash the yoga, yet they also don't understand it.

{A little side note here...I have a few family members I have not seen in years that are happy and healthy, so this blog post isn't directly related to them in any way.}

They will say, "Tina causes trouble". I laugh at this. They are so intimidated by my adventurous spirit and ability to forgive easily that they will always choose the lesser of two evils. They cannot begin to understand forgiveness nor can they begin to understand leading truthful lives.

Being part of Jason's family has really been an eye opener. They have had their own fair share of problems, yet as they get older they have matured and accept and love one another. Matured. It's something my own family has never done. 
They age, but they don't mature.

I am so far removed from who or what I was 10 years ago that I can't even really go back to my old friends and be okay with it. It's still the same old dramas and same old problems. As I approach 40, I realize that new beginnings are underway and that perhaps the life I was really meant to live is finally shaping into just that.

Adventure awaits and each day it just gets better and better. I've never been afraid to confront an issue or admit when I am wrong. I've never been afraid to lend a helping hand or reach out a hand to someone in need. I've never been afraid to accept the truth, as difficult as it may be, the truth is the only way.

If you are facing similar problems, either with family or friends or divorce or any major life changes and obstacles be rest assured that if you are true to yourself, not afraid of growth and allow yourself to be loved by yourself you will endure the problems and come out on top. 

I will leave you with this and if you understand this, you will understand all.


Change from one way of thinking to another
It's a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis.
It just does not happen but is rather driven by agents of change.

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